Distraught blogger calls Burton a ‘stinky landfill’
A dumb keyboard warrior called Burton a “stinky landfill” in a ridiculous online rant.
The forum post immediately builds on the familiar smell known as “Burton snatch” – but fails to acknowledge that it signifies all the groundbreaking industries the city is famous for.
Showing a complete lack of knowledge on the subject they are fuming about, the poster gets incorrect street names and challenges the friendly people of the city.
They make no reference to Burton’s incredible claims to fame, from being the beer capital of the world to being home to national brands like Marmite and Branston Pickle.
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The post on ilivehere.com reads: “What a fucking place Burton is! It’s a town that was definitely missed when the devs and the money were there, but you can hardly blame them for throwing one look and legging it full speed ahead.
“Let me show you around this stinky landfill known as the ‘brewing town of East Staffordshire’.
“If you arrive by train, the first thing you will notice will be the stench of the (breweries) located very close to the station.
“Depending on what stage the brewing is at, the stench varies. Ranging from the aroma of rancid vomit to diarrhea, stomach-churning fumes engulf the entire city.
“Also, if the wind is blowing in the right direction, you also get the total stench of the Marmite factory.
“When you’re done hacking off your ring because of the smell of the place, walk up the steps from the train station to Station Road and into the town itself…and there they are in their full grossness – the * *** population.
“Burton is having fun with them! They can be found strolling through god’s usual haunts, and bling to the eyeballs with their lame jewelry.
“Burton is heaven on earth for these *****s – awash in booze for one thing, and plenty of drugs to keep addictions going for decades.
“Mind you, they’re doing pretty well at Kwik-Save buying in bulk, their White Lightning and Grolsch lager.
“So ends the tour… now you’re gonna sprint to the next train/bus from here – that’s so bad!
“To sum up, Burton is a spooky place, extremely spooky in fact. I would happily live next to the Sellafield nuclear power station than here, because at least living among mutants is far more appealing than living within spitting distance of a damn Burton.”
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