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Around the same time last week, I moved to college for the first time since the pandemic. I have the impression of having lived a whole year in these seven days. I was not at all prepared for the culture shock of school in person and I waded through those scary first days. The faculty told me to watch out for the freshmen, but I wanted someone to take care of me! It felt like I had started all over again, so I can only imagine how all of the subclasses must be feeling right now. It inspired me to write a quick “letter to freshmen†with mantras that helped me navigate the confusion. (Disclaimer: I’m still learning to follow my own advice.) These are crazy times! But I know we can and will come out stronger and prosper in this time of change.
Dear freshmen (or sophomores. Or juniors. Or anyone who is navigating change right now),
I called my mom in a frenzy last week. The dishwasher in our apartment was overflowing, my homework was piling up, I was struggling with scheduling conflicts, and I was already feeling overwhelmed. “I can’t do this for a whole year, Mom. I’m exhausted.” I heard her sigh on the phone (I called her with exactly the same concerns in first grade), before saying one of my favorite phrases. “One foot in front of the other.” This sentence allowed me to go through all the changes in my life. Especially the first year of college.
The year of freshmen hits you very quickly. You are immersed in an entirely new life and learning situation, then watched by everyone to see how you will adjust. It is easy and quite valid to feel overwhelmed. “One foot in front of the other†reminded me that whatever I feared (where my classes were, who my friends were, how to live on my own) would eventually work out. Worrying light years from the future wouldn’t solve my problems any faster. I learned to focus on the day-to-day and believe college would be okay.
Whenever I felt myself drifting into uncertainty or fear, I would redirect my attention to what was going on at present. If I was in class and worried about next weekend, I would stop. I grabbed my fleeing mind and redirected it to what was going on at the moment or what would happen right after. It sounds like the smallest technique, but I swear it helped. During those few weeks, I was just putting one foot in front of the other. Take it moment by moment. It eventually worked to the point where I no longer needed to repeat this phrase 10,000 times a day. I adjusted!
That said, you also don’t need to create an artificial timeline to know when things need to turn out and exactly how they’ll turn out and when you’ll be happy about this new change. You will eventually settle in and find your way. When I was in first grade, I couldn’t wait to feel good at school and get out of the “limbo period†that characterized my first few weeks. I have always compared myself to those I thought “adjusted to college faster / better”. I have now learned that there is no such thing.
Take the time you need for yourself and give your mind / body the resources it needs to thrive. Because you will thrive. It just takes a little while.
Until then, keep putting one foot in front of the other and look for the right one in each day.
I believe in all of us, have a good first semester!
Love,
Horrible
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